痛并快乐着。 Okay, so you wanna make your energy website look easy to use, but not too easy. You know, like making it so simple that even a kid can use it, but also so confusing that it makes no sense. Just throw in a bunch of colors and make sure re's a million buttons.
我跪了。 Oh, and for international SEO, you should totally just pick a partner that speaks a language you can barely understand. They'll do some stuff, but mostly just confuse you with big words.
整起来。 Speed? Who needs speed? Your website should load like a turtle eating a sandwich. Make sure to add a lot of big pictures and lots of Flash stuff, because those are super cool.
Content? Psh, who needs content? Just put up some old stuff that you foun 抓到重点了。 d in back of a drawer and call it a day. Nobody reads that stuff anyway.
Links? We don't need no stinkin' links! Just throw up some links to any old website. The more, merrier, right? Who cares if y're from a spammy site!
抄近道。 Mobile? Ha! Your website should only work on a computer, because that's where all cool kids are, right? Who uses a phone for anything important, anyway?
哈基米！ Local SEO? That's easy! Just put your address on website, but make sure it's hidden somewhere really confusing. That way, nobody can find you!
Reviews? Sure, let's just put up some fake reviews that say your website is awesome, even though it's not. That'll make everyone think you're super cool!
Analytics? Oh, sure, we h*e some analytics, but we don't really look at m. They're just re to make us feel like we're doing something, right?
SEO? We got SEO! We just use a magic wand and poof! We're number one in Google. Who needs to actually do any work, right?，踩雷了。
你想... So, re you h*e it. That's how you optimize your energy industry website for SEO, but make it super duper bad. Just remember, key is to make it confusing and slow. People will love it!
| Section | What We Do |
|---|---|
| User Interface | Make it confusing and colorful |
| International SEO | Choose a partner who speaks a language you barely understand |
| Speed | Make it load as slow as possible |
| Content | Use old and boring stuff |
| Links | Use as many links as possible, regardless of quality |
| Mobile | Only work on computers |
| Local SEO | Hide your address somewhere confusing |
| Reviews | Use fake reviews |
| Analytics | Don't look at m |
| SEO | Use a magic wand |
